Guilty!

Many of us have heard the phrase "Don't take the law into your own hands" and know that it is wrong to do so. But what does that mean? It means you can't apprehend someone, AND accuse them of a crime, AND judge them guilty, AND mete out punishment. Yes, you must do all of that to take the law into your hands, be police, judge, jury, and executioner.

Yet, we do that on the all the time. The earliest I can remember this happening is the McMartin molestation case of the 80's. Those people were guilty from day 1, until they were found not guilty, and even then, probably still have issues with it to this day. Before we come to judge anything, maybe we should leave it to a Court of Law, and not the Court of Public Opinion. After all, isn't that the basic root of all our problems, that we think we're right and those in opposition are wrong?

All of us base our opinions on each of our own experiences that we had in life, by placing ourselves in whatever situation that has occurred. But in reality, no one has the same exact experiences, therefore, opinions will differ. So no one is completely right or completely wrong, and everything depends upon things specific to what happened, not what we believed happened. In other words, I'm right and you're wrong, so you should listen to me. ;p

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

I'd like to say a few things about the ALS Ice bucket challenge.

First, it was done to raise AWARENESS of the disease. If you don't know by now, Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) is often referred to as "Lou Gehrig's Disease," and is a progressive neuro-degenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. That was taken from the ALS site, http://www.alsa.org/about-als/what-is-als.html

Second, like some people, I too thought to criticize the challenge because there was a PERCEPTION that people were only pouring cold water on themselves, and not giving money to the cause. In some ways, the only criticism should be that if you did the challenge, you were to donate LESS money than if you didn't do the challenge.  The truth is, no one knows how much one actually donates, and no one should ever criticize how much anyone donates to anything, because that's their own business. And the proof is there. Last year, just under $3 million was donated to ALS. This year, they're already topping $100 million.

But, where are we now? Awareness was raised. Now the next step is, "Understanding."

ALS is a disease that progressively disconnects the brain from the muscles in your body.  Your brain works, your muscles work, but your brain is slowly unable to tell your muscles what to do. So let's imagine ourselves with the disease. You progressively get weaker, you have trouble walking. First you use a cane to help you walk, then you need a powered wheelchair, then you need someone to push you in a wheelchair. This degenerative process could take years.

But that's just simplified. There is more to it than not being able to walk. You can't feed yourself, you can't bathe yourself, you can't dress yourself, you can't work and earn money. Eventually, you can no longer do anything and are confined to a bed. You'll need to be fed by a tube because you can no longer swallow. Then you need a mechanical respirator because you can no longer breathe on your own.

In the meantime, someone also needs to help you do things. That means that they too, can not work, because you are now their full-time job. In a perfect world, we may not have the disease, or we have a cure for it. In a better world, we have some type of assistance for people who get this awful disease. Awesome insurance that pays for a Nurse or a facility to help you. In the real world, without a job, people struggle financially. Maybe someone in the family can become a caregiver. Now that's two with no income. It becomes overwhelming.

I know. I had to care for my own mother, although she did not have ALS. It is very hard, but I was lucky to have a job with just the right hours, and siblings that did what I couldn't, when I couldn't.

I also know someone who has ALS and is struggling with it.  She has bills to pay, and had to sell her car and eventually leave her job because she was no longer able to do it.  She has a loving Adult teenaged daughter that is now her caregiver.  And she has friends that look after her needs.

Unfortunately, my friend has also had bad experiencse with the ALS Association, and would much rather have people donate to ALS Guardian Angels. She questions where all the money goes to at ALSA.

According to Charity Navigator, an Independent website that researches Charities, and rates the ALSA High in Transparency, 72.4% of the ALS Association's budget was used for program expenses — that is, the programs and services the ALS Association delivers to the ALS community according to its mission, such as professional and public education, research into ALS treatments and cures, and patient and commmunity services. Of the remaining budget, 11% went to administrative expenses and 16.5% to fundraising expenses.

But what are program expenses? "Overhead" could be where their office is located and "Program" could be where they conduct monthly meetings in different areas for People with ALS or "PALS." When my friend went to meetings, they were not given water and/or even a snack. There would always be less than 10 PALS there with their Caregivers or "CALS." 

The ALSA claims that a caseworker is assigned to each PALS, and they are paid a salary. This could also fall under "Program Expenses." She has not been visited or had telephone contact with her caseworker in over 1 year. If she has not been visited by a salaried employee, how many other PALS have also been neglected as well? 

Another example, a Gala took place at the Roosevelt in Hollywood that could be considered a "Fundraising Expense (16.5%)." However, if the Gala is for PALS, CALS, Researchers and those that are going to be recognized by ALSA, why was the Gala made to be something so out of reach with a price of $300 a ticket? You'd think by using donations for Fundraising Expenses at 16.5 %, maybe people with ALS could have gotten tickets at a discounted rate or maybe even, free? And at $300 per ticket, wouldn't you say that the fundraiser was paying for itself? My friend has had her own fundraisers and benefit concerts and they did not have costs of 16.5% of donations. If private people can do it for less, why can't a professional organization? By not being able to go to the Gala, my friend feels that the ALSA took her voice away, she wanted to go, tell her story and be heard. But the ALSA made it nearly impossible for her to even go to a Gala for people like her.

This is a really sore subject for her but fortunately she has been connected with the ALS Guardian Angels. Everything the ALS Guardian Angels receives goes to assist PALS.  Stu, who runs the organization with others, does it because simply, it needs to get done, and they know the need is there. 

From the ALS Guardian Angels website, "OUR MISSION: Most ALS related organizations are dedicated to finding a cure. Until then, ALS patients need help living. The ALS Guardian Angels Foundation is dedicated to helping patients and their families live with ALS while maintaining the best quality of life possible."

Also to make things even clearer,  she would ask that you stop referring to a person with ALS as a "patient." Why? Patients can go to the doctor and get treated. There is NO treatment or cure for ALS. Sobering, isn't it? And anyone can get it, no one knows how or why.

So if you can, help people with ALS live a life. Please make a donation to:
http://www.alsguardianangels.com/

My friend has her own personal fundraising page at:
http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/nora-perez-vs-als-/235661#.VCpjTYX3Z9M.facebook


You raised Awareness, you now have some Understanding, now you can take Action.

All of US

July 4th, the day we celebrate the forming of a Union of several States, governed by the Constitution. We are not perfect. Laws are not perfect. But we have the right to make amendments to all laws to fix them, if they have defects. 

Some countries don't have any rights. So, if a decision is made based on an interpretation of the Constitution that you don't like, don't blame anyone. Fix the system, make amendments. That's why this Country is better than others. 

Stop complaining, work to make things better for everyone. It's not about you, or what you think is right, it's about US. When you believe that your thoughts are always right, and the other side is always wrong, we no longer have a Democracy. 

I believe in your right to disagree with what I say and feel. You have a right to your own opinions. I have a right to mine. Respect that without hate. That's what it's all about.

Heart Mountain Part 2

Well, now what? Here you are in a strange place, with nowhere to go. You can sit still and demand things, like more food, insulation for your room, your freedom, anything.  But this was the 40's. It's a time when people did things for themselves. Not like today when you demand from your leaders what you lack.

So everyone got together. Experts were sought out, and they found one. A recent college graduate who's major was agriculture. He examined the soil and told everyone what would grow in the fields. Because of the harsh climate, and the short time frame for farming, "new" methods were used to grow crops. Many crops were grown with caps to keep them from freezing until the weather permitted the plant to grow on their own. Once crops were establlished, food was no longer too scarce. They even dug a huge root cellar to store root vegetables for later use. They eventually even supplied other Internment camps with vegetables.

Others raised pigs, and chickens for their eggs and meat.

Some who were involved with Boy Scouts re-started their Troops inside the camps. Teachers got together with outside local teachers and taught school there. Doctors worked in the Infirmary or Hospital. Carpenters and wood workers started to fix-up the public areas to provide more privacy, and make things overall, more livable. Nothing like what they had before being sent there, but much better than when they arrived.

The people stuck there, under conditions they were not used to, started to "make" a life. Not a great life, but they worked with what they had.

Some conflicts grew because in Asian culture, the Parents or your elders, were the leaders and in charge.  But in this case, the elders were first generation Japanese immigrants, and the people in charge of the Internment Camps would not put them in leadership positions. They let only the adults who were born in the US to have leadership roles. Asians were also "family" oriented, and most did everything together, but once in the camps, children often played with other children, ate in the Mess Hall with their friends, got in trouble with their friends. The Family structure started to disintegrate.

Eventually things ran as smooth as it could and then the Draft aged men were asked to volunteer for military service. Some who wanted to prove that they were loyal Americans, signed up right away. Some were still angry at being incarcerated with essentially no rights, and demanded that they be let go, and have their civil rights restored BEFORE they volunteered for service. Eventually most joined the service or were drafted. Those who still protested, were jailed.

The 100th Battalion which were made up of mostly Japanese Americans from Hawaii, were already being used in Europe and were joined by the Interned Japanese Americans in the 442th Battalion. Together, they are the most decorated Battalions ever. The members of the 442th helped liberate the Jewish people still alive in Dachau, the infamous Nazi Death Camp.

But this is about the camps.  Life was going on. American citizens were still being held prisoners in camps.  Some were allowed to leave, but with stipulations. You could either go to College, or have proof of a job, BUT, East of the Rocky Mountains. And with  wartime prejudices, it was still difficult to get in a College or get a job.  But some did get out. Even though families usually stuck together, who could blame anyone for leaving?

When the war ended, the Internment camps were eventually shut down. No one was allowed to stay, even if you wanted to. And in Wyoming, where Heart Mountain was, the Governor would not allow anyone to stay in the State, everyone had to leave.

Most all of the Camps were torn down right after the last person left. At Heart Mountain, each Barrack was put up for Auction to anyone living there, and willing to physically remove the buildings. People who purchased a Barrack used hand saws to cut them down to a size that they could haul away on a flat bed truck, and then reassemble them on their own property. I understand that some are still standing on farms all around the towns of Cody and Powell, Wyoming.

Continued............

Heart Mountain, Part One

First let me say that I was not incarcerated in Heart Mountain Internment Camp, my father was, and he didn't speak much of his time there. In fact, I can't say he talked much about his life before he went there, or after he left. This was common amongst most who were incarcerated in a Camp.

I also don't want to make it sound worse than or equal to the Death Camps of the Nazis, or even the POW Camps that Japan had. I am just writing about what I understand happened to some American citizens after the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941.

Some prior history. Some farmers on the West Coast were being out-done by their Japanese counterparts. Eventually, they lobbied to pass laws outlawing Aliens, mainly Asian immigrants, from owning land and property and/or leasing land. When Japan attacked Pearl Harbor, and there was talk of removing the Japanese from the West Coast, some farmers lobbied extra hard to make it happen. Why? For the most part, they wanted their land. You see, back then, they didn't consider that the Japanese were better at farming, they believed their land was better for farming than the land they had for farming.

Another factor is that this period in time was just after the Great Depression was ending. People had worked hard for a long time for what little they had earned. Many people worked in manual labor jobs, earning little for food and/or rent. Owning anything meant you were successful in some ways.

Some things I will write about happened to other Japanese that were incarcerated, some to my father. And it is important to note, that there were 10 Internment Camps, and each person and each camp had different and similar experiences. In other words, what I write and books like Farewell to Manzanar are just some perspectives, not all.

Imagine now, you are 35 years old, an United States Citizen. Japan attacks Pearl Harbor.

If you teach Japanese language schools, are a Shinto or Buddhist priest, or others with like Japanese leadership roles, you are whisked away to jail. You have no contact with the outside world until the war is over. Eventually, only the Buddhist priests are released and sent to Internment camps.

Your home and the homes of other Japanese are searched with no warrants, by....... you don't know by who. You guess that they are FBI agents. If they find anything that makes you look suspicious, you are taken away to jail and interrogated. Maybe you are let go, maybe you end up with the priests.

You could be shunned by people who you once considered friends. Not all, just some. But you can't tell who is your real friend anymore.

Your assets are frozen, and you can't access your money. How do you buy food? Pay rent? You may have a business, but hardly anyone is buying from you anymore. You sell your belongings, but so do everyone else. You have going out of business sales. You end up getting pennies on the dollar for what you own.

The Government is talking about removing you from your home and putting you in special camps. Once you get the order to Evacuate, there is no one standing up for you. Today would be different, but here's no ACLU. No riots. Nothing. So you go quietly, or go to jail.

You pack your stuff, but they are allowing only what you can carry. And no radios, knives or cameras. Today, add no TV, cellphones, laptops or tablets, nothing that you can communicate with. Anything you own, you are selling or trying to get them in storage. But you have no money. The lucky have friends who say they will store things for them, or they are kept in the now empty Japanese churches and temples.

Do you have a pet? Sorry, no pets allowed. You have to give them away or something. Maybe your neighbor or friends will care for them.

You preliminarily get sent to Santa Anita where the horse stalls are white-washed in haphazard fashion, and you have to bunk there for a few days with thousands of others just like you. It stinks like horse crap.

Finally you are on a train to... where? They don't tell you. You'll find out when you get there.

You end up in Heart Mountain Camp.  It's in Northern Wyoming. The middle of BFE. The camp is set up like a Military base camp. At first, the Governor of Wyoming did not want any Japanese in Wyoming. He was prejudiced. But he relented, and Heart Mountain with it's about 650 buildings, and holding anywhere between 9-12,000 people, was built in about 2 months.

You and your family are given a room in a barrack. Barracks are 20 feet by 120 feet, separated into 6 "rooms." 2 each are 20 X 16, 20 X 20, and 20 X 24.Each has a separate entrance.Each has one ceiling light, one electrical outlet, and one pot-bellied stove for heating, not cooking. There are twins sized cots in some rooms, some get theirs later and have to sleep on the floor until they do. If you want privacy, you try to hang "curtains" to separate the open-concept room.

Each barrack was made in a few hours with "new" wood. The wood was both the inside and outside. What? If the wood was for the roof, one side was the ceiling, one side was the roof. One side was the outside wall, the other was the inside wall. Get the picture? This "new" wood also shrank when it dried out, leaving gaps in between the planks. Most of the outside of the buildings were covered in tar-paper and roofing shingles. I do remember my father saying they had to cut cans up to make patches to nail and cover holes in the buildings.

In another separate barrack is the Mess hall, and when it it time to eat, you line-up and wait your turn. It's wartime, so food is rationed. You might get a bowl of tomatoes and rice as your meal for a few days. You eat cafeteria style with large tables and benches to sit on. At first, soldiers are the cooks and they are handing you your rations. Food is rationed in equal amounts no matter how old or "big" you were.

Bathroom and showers are in another separate barrack. the toilets are lined up with no partitions. You are now sitting next to someone else who is trying to do number 2, just like you, and the other guy, and the other guy, and the other guy.......

Heart Mountain was different in one respect. All of the other camps had two fences surrounding them. Heart Mountain only had one. If you tried to leave, you were shot. I don't know how many Japanese were shot in the other camps, but none were shot at Heart Mountain.

Continued.........

Just Driving By

I haven't written in a while, most of what's been happening has been "normal." Nothing to write home about.

I like to tell you things that happen out of dumb luck. Maybe it's fate, I don't know. You can decide.

In the early morning of Jan 23rd, we were awakened from sleep at around 3:30 am. We went to a call for "Difficult Respiration." This required that both the Paramedic Ambulance I was working on, and a Fire Engine, to respond to assist the patient. 

Sometimes I get asked why do you need the Fire Engine. Well, most Fire Departments across the country requires their Firefighters to be EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) trained. And on certain medical calls, 2 Paramedics are not enough personnel. For example, let's say you had a heart attack. Are 2 Paramedics enough? Well, it only takes 2 people to do CPR, right? Without going into more detail of why we need more people, think about this; If 2 Paramedics are doing CPR, who's going to drive you to the hospital? No one. You're gonna end up dying.

We get on scene and I go in first. I ask what's wrong, and the 35 yo woman tells me she has the flu. She is very hot with fever, and is coughing. As the Fire Engine crew comes in, I tell them she has the flu. Then I asked the woman if she could walk down her stairs to the gurney. She says that she's too weak.   One of the Firefighter rolls his eyes because it's flu season, and he's been as sick as this woman for over a week. But, he doesn't say a word, and doesn't complain. He waits patiently while we get the stair chair from the ambulance and he helps carry her down the stairs.

We get her in the gurney and load her into the ambulance. Both of us, the ambulance and Fire Engine, leave at the same time. We go to the hospital down the street, they head back to the Fire Station. The driver (Engineer) of the Fire Engine works at another station and is taking a different route back, one that is not usual. The route passes by a Psychiatric Board and Care, and no one purposely drives by it, because it may "remind" one of the residents that they could "get out of jail free" if they call 911 and go to the hospital. 

As they drive North on this Street, the Firefighter on the West side of the street notices what looks like a fire, one block West of where they were, near another Board and Care Apartment house. They were already wearing their Turnout pants, so they started putting on their Turnout coats They also started teasing the Firefighter, saying it was probably just a Christmas tree fire, and that it would be out by the time they got there. This time of year, people leave their dead and dried out Christmas trees outside by the curb, and with the light of a match, it can burn fast and be out in 2 -3 minutes.

They circle the block and see nothing on the East side front of the building. They turn right on the cross street, the building is on a corner, and see some light smoke in the rear of the building. They think it may be coming from the parking lot behind the building. As they get closer, it becomes more certain that the first floor, very rear apartment unit is on fire. 

They stop, and it happens to be right in front of the side entrance. The Captain gets on the radio to inform our dispatch of the fire, and to ask for a Second Alarm assignment. NO ONE called 911. The Engineer gets out and goes to hook up to the fire hydrant about 100 feet away. The Firefighters completely suit up, set up a hose line and start cutting the security door to get inside. The noise of the rotary saw may have waken up the residents, because some of them from the second floor started to open their windows to see what was going on. When the residents realized there was a fire, they started climbing out of their windows to jump.

As one Firefighter was cutting the gate open, the other yelled at everyone not to jump, and got a ladder out. He helped one person down, and by then, the hose was ready to go, and the gate was cut open.

The Engineer helped some of the others down, but his main duty was to the Firefighters who were going inside to fight the fire. The Engineer's job is to provide the Firefighters with water at the right pressure, so he had to be at the control panel.

The crew went in and quickly put out the bulk of the fire in the rear unit. The rear unit was next to the stairwell going to the second floor, and it too started to catch fire. So they started to advance their line up the stairwell.

In the meantime, it was chaos outside. More units came on scene to assist the first Fire Crew. One Fire crew was directed to put up ladders to help what seemed to be the whole apartment house wanting to jump out of their second floor apartment.

As the first crew put out the stairwell fire, they ended up on the second floor hallway which seemed to have lit up as soon as they got up there. The first crew then continued their fire fight and put out the second floor hallway fire. While the bulk of the fire was out, it was still hot and very smokey inside. 

At this time I had no idea what was going on, as I was at the hospital with the patient. As we were returning to our Fire Station, we were added as part of a third or maybe, fourth alarm.

While doing a search of the apartments, one Firefighter from the first crew came upon a man still in his bed, burned from heat and smoke inhalation. He took off his mask and put it over the man's face and others came to help him carry the man outside. 

Another ambulance took him away to the hospital while we were tending to another patient who was already outside and had jumped from her second floor apartment. She had smoke inhalation and a severely broken leg. 

After everything was over, we found out that the apartment was allegedly purposely set on fire by someone who allegedly had an argument with the man who was found in his bed.

The Fire Engine must have saw the initial set, and then fight the fire as the arsonist was lighting the rest of the building on fire. I bet the arsonist was incredulous, thinking, "How the heck did the Fire Dept get here so fast?"

Who knows how many people would have died or got injured at this fire if it had been burning for a while, AND THEN someone called 911. Who knows what would have happened during the extra time it would have taken for The Fire crew to wake up, go down to the Fire Engine, and then drive to the fire. This fire burned hot and fast due to it being arson and an accelerant was used. I'm sure there would have been more than one casualty. 

God looks out for the unfortunate amongst us.

More Closure

On my Blog post dated August 5, 2010, I wrote about doing CPR on a man who went into cardiac arrest on the field at Dodger Stadium. While doing CPR, a man in civilian clothes came to me and said, "I'm a LAFD Firefighter, can I take over compressions for you?"

I didn't know who he was, or where he worked, but as I thought about what I was doing and what still needed to be done, I let him take over the compressions.

He did a great job, and it freed me up to do more for the man, now that more medical equipment had been brought to me.

As everything happened so fast that day, with people coming and going, I never knew who that off-duty Firefighter was that helped me do CPR.

Randomly, I was telling the story about that day at my new Fire Station, and wouldn't you know it, that Firefighter was working there, and in the kitchen when I was telling the story.

He turned out to be a Captain II, and he's going to retire at the end of September. Small world, isn't it?

Numerology?

Most Fire Departments divide their coverage areas in different ways.  The LAFD does it in a common military way. We start with Divisions. In each Division, we have several Battalions. In each Battalion, we have several Fire Stations.

After my probationary period ended, I was assigned to Fire Station 6 in Battalion 11.  Battalion 11 is also the general area in which I grew up.  I was assigned to Fire station 6, then 29, then 11, then 13, and finally at my current assignment, Fire Station 20.  Other than a total of about 27 months here and there, all of my time on the Department was in Battalion 11.

Today was my last day in Battalion 11.  I finally got a transfer out. If you've read my Blog, I wrote that my mother was bedridden and I took care of her. Working near her house and within the coverage boundaries of Fire Station 20 made it easier for me to care for her.

After she passed away this year, I decided to move on. This Battalion is busy, and I'm getting older. It's getting harder and harder to recover from all the calls we get at night. So I believe I chose a Station where I will not get beat up too much.

This past year, 2 other long time members of Fire Station 20 also left. One due to his retirement, and the other due to budget cuts.  Each of them signed their names on the underside of the dining bench with the time they got there, to the day they left.

I had to check on the date I got there. January 13, 2002.  Funny how numbers pop up in your life.  My mother passed away on January 13, 2012, 10 years later.

Closure

On my Blog post dated November 22, 2009, I wrote about how a young girl died when she lost control of her car and crashed. There was one passenger in the car, and we never knew what became of her, whether she lived or died. She was conscious and talking, but you never know what happens after they go to the hospital.

 Today must have been the driver's birthday or some other special day. Her cousin, family and or friends came by and had a candlelight vigil for her. I went over and told them that we were the ones who were first on scene and tried to save the people in the car. They asked me several questions about how she was when we found her. I told them that she looked peaceful, not in pain or shock, that she looked like she was sleeping with her eyes open. One of them said she often slept with her eyes open. 

I also told them that she probably died right then and did not suffer. They seemed relieved. I was told that her friend made it, though I did not ask her condition, if she had any on going physical issues or not. Her cousin cried while I spoke to her, and said this was the first time she has met anyone who was a first responder. I gave her a hug.

I think she felt some closure. In some ways, I did too.

Friday the 13th

Friday, January 13th, 2012, my Dear 85 year old Mother passed away at around 6 pm PST. She was a sweet and simple person, who did not deserve the hard life that she lived.

Born in Japan, and living in a suburb of Hiroshima, she witnessed the devastation of an Atomic bomb. After the war, she married my father in an arranged marriage, and came to the United States, where she worked at my father's grocery store.

She loved and admired my father and had 5 children whom she adored.

She had been bedridden for the past 15 years. She still had her mind, but her body was not cooperating. Yet it didn't seem to affect her outlook on life. There is a term in Japanese, "shoganai." It basically means "Oh well, that's the way it is."

3 years ago almost to the day, she suffered the first of two distinct strokes. The first one left her without speech and movement on her right side. But she still had her mind. Though she could no longer verbally communicate with us, we knew that she comprehended what was going on. When we told her that she would be going home after a long stay in convalescent care, she cried tears of happiness. During summer, when figs were in season, she seemed to relish the taste of her favorite fruit.

She seem to keep waiting for the day when she would wake up and be able to function again. It did not happen.

About 2 years ago, she had her second distinct stroke. Now she was left unable to move, and we were no longer able to discern whether or not she could see and/or hear. There seemed to be times when she could, and times when I wondered if she was aware of anything. This past fig season, she did not seem to realize that she was eating her favorite fruit.

Four days prior to her death, she seem to have a complete change in her health. She was "normal" in the morning, and by evening, she was ill. In the hospital, she was found to have pneumonia and a small heart attack. For a day or two, she seemed to stabilize. On the third night, it seemed to me that she was not getting better, but she also was not getting worse. By the fourth night, she slipped away.

As a believer in God, I believe that she is in a better place, that her soul is free from the confines of her physical being.

Yet this comfort barely eases my own selfish pain. Although I had thought that she, in essence, had already died, it is still painful to lose her. It has been a very long time since she has had the ability to do anything, and I imagine her now frolicking in fields. I think about the time she walked me to my very first day of school. And I think of the time I didn't want to go to school and she tried her darnedest to wake me. I faked that I was asleep, so she gave up and kissed me on the cheek and left.

So while she laid in the hospital bed, no longer able to wake, I stroked her hair for the last time, told her I was leaving, and kissed her on her cheek and left.


Peacefully at sleep now, I pray that you wake in Heaven and are free of all burdens.

Person Down!

When you call 911, the call is put into a category depending on what you tell the dispatcher over the phone.  This is a  nationally used protocol, created to bring a uniform standard to 911 dispatching.  If the protocol is being used by the center you call, you will get questions asked to you in a way that will best extract the most pertinent information in a timely manner.  That way, the proper services and amount of rescuers are sent to your emergency call.

This is because, unless a dispatcher can actually see what is going on and why you are calling, he is blind and at your mercy to relay what is really going on.

911 calls are made all the time for any reason. But for this post, I will focus on a "Person down." This is different from a "Fall," which is when the caller states the patient was actually seen, heard or told of falling down. A "Person down" is just that, someone on the ground for no reason, or no witnessed reason. 

Most of the time in the area where I work, it is for a homeless person sleeping on the sidewalk, or a drunk person that has passed out and/or is sleeping too.

Oddly, when someone has a seizure, heart attack, or drug overdose,they are usually with someone and/or it is witnessed, and the 911 call comes in as something other than "Person down." Even a suicide or someone who had died on the street comes out as a "DOA." A "Person down" seems to be always someone who is sleeping or drunk.

Many times, it ends up being a false alarm. The caller is sometimes driving in their car and sees someone on the sidewalk and decides to call. A man was kneeling down on his front lawn doing some gardening, and a driver mistook him as being unconscious and on the ground. Silly good Samaritan...... Other times it's someone who is walking by, or lives/works nearby and sees something "wrong." I came on scene to find a man laying on the sidewalk, with the 911 caller standing right next to him. I asked, "What's wrong?" The caller said, "I think he's dead." I looked down at the man, and shouted, "Hello! Are you okay?" The man on the sidewalk said, "Leave me alone, I'm sleeping."

Yes, many times, good Samaritans just call 911 without trying to investigate why they are calling. I guess there's a point where they care, but not that much. Like the many drivers who call 911, but won't circle the block to find out if they are calling for a legitimate reason, and just keep driving on their merry way.

So far,  knock on wood, my "Person Downs" have not had any emergency needing special attention. Most are people who are trying to sleep. Some are too drunk to be left on their own, and are carted off to the hospital. Some are homeless and feign illness because they know it means a warm bed and something to eat, even though it will take up a bed in the Emergency room.

Today's call was different. "Person down, behind the library." We respond lights and sirens through heavy traffic, and finally get to our destination and head for the back of the library. We didn't find anyone. We looked all over, then walked down some steps to an alley. We looked around, nothing..... Then someone pointed to a place that was behind us, and said "He's up there." We looked up a different flight of stairs and saw a bundled blanket in the library's back doorway.

We asked the pointer, "Did you call 911?" He answered, "Yes, I called." We asked, "What happened, why did you call?" The pointer answered, "No movement." By then we were getting nearer to the person who hasn't moved for I don't know how long, but long enough for the caller to be worried. As we got closer, I thought, "We passed this alley to get to the back of the library, why didn't the 911 caller flag us down and tell us to go down this alley instead?" We would have gotten to the patient a little bit sooner, and it would have been much easier to get this person in distress into the ambulance to be quickly whisked away to the hospital.

Were we too late? Could this person who hasn't moved be saved? We wondered as we got closer..... we shouted "Are you okay? Are you okay? No movement........ none at all. We got closer...... We shook the blanket. No movement. We slowly uncovered the blanket....... and found.........
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No one. There was no one under the blanket. Surprised? *rolls eyes*

The Wizard

Everyone is well aware of the Coke vs Pepsi, Cola wars. Each one spends millions to get you to drink their cola. Each one tells you how great they taste and how much better they are than the other. I bet you even have your own favorite brand.

But just for a minute, think about this. What if both brands were owned by the same person? That means of course, no matter which one you buy, one person makes money off you. But why would one person do this? Why wouldn't they just market both flavors under one label?

Loyalty. You get the people all riled up to pick a side, and they get in a frenzy. Mob mentality takes over. You are no one unless you drink what "I" drink. And with only two to pick from, all those other independents fall by the wayside. Remember Royal Crown (RC) Cola? It was at one time, a viable third candidate. But now, you can't find it in a store.

So why am I telling you this? I have a sneaking suspicion, and one day it may be revealed, that there really isn't two political parties. Both are working together for one thing, and it's not to make good government. It's to get your money into their pockets.

Made for Women

Have you ever heard the old saying, "Work smart, not hard?" It just means that if you take the time to think things out, you won't have to work as hard to accomplish a goal. You can also use a machine to do things for you, instead of doing it manually, so that it will be faster and easier.

Machines do make our lives easier. Many mundane chores are now being done by a machine. Not being sexist, but most of the time, these jobs were at one time, done by women. Cooking, cleaning, whatever. Think of all the appliances that are available today, and you will see that most of them help women NOT do a job they once did.

Here are some examples of inventions made for women.

Stove and oven, women don't have to gather wood and start a fire anymore.
Washing machine, women don't have to drag clothes to the river and hit them with rocks.
Dryer, women don't have to hang clothes and wait for them to dry.
Vacuum cleaner, women don't have to endlessly sweep and dust all day.
Can opener, women don't have to use their hands. Heck, food comes in pouches now.
Microwave, women don't have to slave over the now obsolete stove and oven.
Computer, women don't have to go out on dates anymore, they can just as easily reject you while sitting comfortably at home in their jammies.
Even the Television. What? The television?

Yes, now that women have more time on their hands because they don't have to do any manual labor, they need something to keep them occupied, so Television and Soap Operas were invented. And you thought it was made for men to watch sports. *shakes head*

Yes there are many appliances that have made life easier for women. What's next, you ask? Well, I was at the Pharmacy today, and I saw a breast pump for sale......... Now women are trying to replace what men are supposed to do......

Lessons Learned?

September 11, 2001, the day the USA changed.

I remember where I was and what I was doing 10 years ago. I was at home and asleep, awakened by a friend who told me to turn on the TV. At first I was grumpy from having been disturbed from much needed rest, after being relentlessly tired from working at one of the busiest Paramedic ambulances in LA City. But then, like being slapped in the face, I was shocked wide awake, to see what was happening in New York. I watched as the second plane hit the 2nd tower, and at no time did I ever think anything but terrorist attack. In the beginning, there was speculation as to what was happening, thinking only a small plane had tragically hit the first tower. But I came in late, and immediately saw things as everyone else was now coming to grips to. This was no accident.

Then the reports of the Pentagon being hit, and possibly more planes unaccounted for. To be honest, I was never in fear of an attack here in Los Angeles. I don't know why, I guess I felt like they were targeting the East Coast and Government buildings. Later, we did find out that many places were targeted, with Los Angeles being listed. Though the world was now on alert, I don't remember being called in to staff any extra resources. There may have been some, but I just don't recall any right now. Some Firefighters spent their vacations in New York, working for free on their Fire Engines, while the NY firefighters worked to find survivors in the rubble of the World trade Centers.

From my perspective as a Firefighter, we changed in many ways. Our tactics changed. Our state of alertness changed.

But what is more important is how we changed as people after that day. We were one. We were no longer LAFD or LACountyFD or FDNY. We were Firefighters. We were First Responders. We were Brothers and Sisters. Yes, there were Fire Dept rivalries. Just like USC vs UCLA, people had their pride, sometimes misplaced, sometimes foolish.

As we find out more and more about the tragedy of 9/11, we also find out more about the acts of complete strangers helping out complete strangers. Not just people involved with Public Safety, but just your normal everyday person, who also risked their lives to help others. People with no training, or knowledge of the dangers facing them, who only had one thing on their mind. To help another person live.

We also saw that, how in most "doomsday" predictions, people are "predicted" to turn on each other, killing each other for their money, possessions, food, water, you name it. People are supposed to think only of themselves and throw you over the cliff so that they could live. But it didn't happen. People heard cries for help and helped. Groups that left as a team, found their way out as a team.

I guess this is how it is when the perceived "enemy" is from the outside.

Unfortunately, we seem to be divided again. I guess we didn't learn from the selfless acts of strangers that day, that gave for the greater good. "We" are back to "me, myself, and I." I guess this is how it is when the perceived "enemy" is on the inside. Liberal/Conservative. Republican/Democrat. Fox/CNN.

In the end, we are all just people who want the same thing. Food, shelter, and safety. Together, we can achieve this. Divided, we fail. Now go ahead and blame the other guy for it being this way.

Women - A Foreign Language

Before you read this, you have to read this about how women say one thing, and mean another. http://blogs.laweekly.com/afterdark/2011/08/16_things_women_say_that_men_m.php

Though I'm not disagreeing with this article, I have never heard any woman say #7, or heard of any man who complained that she said it. I do agree that most women say one thing and mean another. I just don't agree on what men and women have been trying to accomplish, since these types of articles have been written.

Think about it. When you look at something, first you look back to when things were different. Then you think about when things started to change, and then that's when you put two and two together to get five.

In the old days, before there were articles like this, men were men and women were women. There was still miscommunication, but whenever there was a relationship, it was "till death do you part." Men and women stayed married and celebrated decades of marriage together.

But now, with these "guides" to how women think, men have tried to turn into Sherlock Holmes, deciphering what women are really trying to say. And what are the results? Divorces, people having trouble finding someone, the explosion of dating sites, and even stalking. Yes, there are more cases of stalking now because men are trying to decipher what you say.

Oh no, she couldn't have meant leave her alone, when she said, "Leave me alone." And she really didn't mean for me to stay the fuck away from her when she said, "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!"

Women, hahaha, they're so funny that way.

Anyway, now that I just spent 6 months in jail for stalking, I've had a lot of time to think about this. Where did men go wrong? Well, the answer is simple. Men thought they were at fault, and tried to better themselves by trying to be a better listener, and therefore be a better partner to a woman. Men tried to be more sensitive. Tsk tsk, what a mistake.

In reality, women are at fault here. Women are the ones who say things that they don't really mean, not men. Yes it IS your fault. For men and women to start being better communicators with each other, WOMEN have to start saying what they mean.

When you go to McDonald's and want a Quarter Pounder with cheese, you don't ask for a Filet 'o Fish, and if you do and end up with a Filet 'o Fish, you better not complain. Now maybe you could get away with asking for a "Royale with cheese" instead of a Quarter Pounder with cheese, and still get a Quarter Pounder with cheese, but you can't ask for a Filet 'o Fish.

But there is more to this story than meets the eye. You see, if women say one thing and mean another, they they could also possibly interpret things in a way only they can understand.

For example, when men say "I'm hungry," men mean, "I'm hungry." It doesn't mean, "OMG! I'm stressed out from my job because that bitch that I work with is always trying to make me look bad, and always talking about me behind my back, and trying to get the promotion that I deserve, that BITCH!"

But, women aren't totally alone here. Sometimes there is a little more to what men say, but it's just not as bad as what you are thinking. So, here are a few things that men say, that mean a little more than what they are saying, but is still misinterpreted by women.

When men say, "Let's have lunch." Women, you should not think, "OMG! I know what he really wants. He's making reservations at a cheap Motel, there is NO WAY I'm having sex with him." What men really means is, "Let's have lunch, I'm hungry and don't like eating alone."

When men say, "Let's have dinner." Women, you should not think, "OMG! He wants to eventually marry me and is making reservations at a Hotel, there is NO WAY I'm having sex with him." What men really means is, "Let's have dinner, I'm hungry and don't like eating alone, and I'll pay."

When men say, "Let's have sex." Women, you should not think, "OMG! He's so funny! He sure is confident. Wow, that is so sexy. I want him. I really, really want him. Right now. In fact right here in front of everyone in this bar, because I've had a few too many and I'm horny and uninhibited. I can't help myself, I'm gonna leave with him right now and attack him in his car in the parking lot. Oh gosh, I am soooo hot right now..... What men really mean is, "I'm horny, I won't remember your name tomorrow, don't expect me to call you, ever."

Not so hard, is it?

The Pina Colada Song

Isn't it funny how people get the wrong impressions from songs? Springsteen's "Born in the USA," was mistaken as a patriotic song. But it was more about what was wrong with the USA at the time, than how great a Country we were.

Just like most people think the Pina Colada song is romantic, yet, not really. Yeah, you all know that song..... "If you like Pina Coladas......."

Think about it for a minute. In real life, this is how the song would end.....

You?
You? Why are you writing personal ads?!?!
Why are you ANSWERING personal ads?
You don't drink pina coladas! And you can't stand getting wet in the rain!
Well, I don't like yoga and YOU don't have half a brain!
Well you can't make love at midnight, you're always asleep by 10!
*SPLASH!* Here's your taste of champagne! Now go and escape!

Am I right?

Los Angeles Parking Violations, Parking Tickets

If you received a Parking Ticket in the City of Los Angeles, with only the envelope on your windshield, no ticket inside, then had to pay the fine and late fees, leave a comment.

Thanks.

Limitations

As Dirty Harry once said, "A man's gotta know his limitations." This is all relative of course. You never know something, unless you try it. And trying something new or different for the first time usually doesn't disappoint.

But, I'm not writing about things like that. It's more like trying to be a Major League Pitcher when you can't throw the ball over home plate. No, that's not me, it's an example. Some things you are just naturally good at, some things you are not.

Well before my "Reflections" post, I have been reflecting on my life. All aspects, home, family, work, friends, God, you name it, I've been thinking about it. You might have noticed that theme in my blog.

I have known for a long time, that I am not especially good at one thing. I fail miserably all the time. But I kept trying, though admittedly, with much skepticism and being overly cautious when I did, which is probably also why I failed.

For the past 5 years, ever since I became an online personality, I have yearned for a more "normal" life. One that has normal hours of work, and to get more time for myself. But when I tried to change these things, I have run into road blocks.

Wanting this change, I had been neglecting the life I am good at. I have spent less time keeping up with my duties and relationships at work. You see, being a Firefighter is not just a job. It's a different kind of life. I'm beginning to think that wanting a change is not what's in my best interest. I'm starting to believe that, at this point in my life, I should just stick with what I know and do best.

I may even give up my online personality, which is kind of the root cause of my straying from what I was doing. Seeing people do regular things and have a regular life, have made me envious of that life. But that isn't my life. Mine is different, and I have to realize that it is, and accept it again.

I have met some great "friends" online. People that I would never had met or come across in real life. And I would miss them if I left this online world. But there are real people, and there are internet people. Real people are people that you do see, meet, or come across and interact with through work or play. Internet people are just the ones you "see" online, people you may not have even met in person.

I don't think that's healthy. Interacting with real people is not the same as interacting with them online. And many experts agree. They believe that the next generation will have a difficult time having normal interactions with each other. Have you seen people having dinner together, both on their smartphones texting away? How is that normal? It's not. I just hope they are not texting each other, that would be the worst.

Anyway, I am still reflecting on things. Maybe I just need more time to figure it all out. But I do know what I'm good at. At least I can fall back on that.

Besides, most of the time, people are always trying to be/do something that they're not. Whether due to peer pressure or just trying to fit in. It's better to just be yourself, and let people love you for who you are. That's what works for me, as most of the time, I rarely did things because "everyone was doing it." I have to do things my own way. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Divine Intervention?

It would take a long time to explain how I feel about this, explaining how I got to this point, but to make it short, I do believe my life is being guided in some ways.

And sometimes specifically. For example, I wanted to become a Firefighter. Back when I started looking for a job as a Firefighter, it was difficult to get a job as one. Thousands would compete for Firefighter jobs. Depending on the City that was hiring, it could have meant 1 open position or 50 positions. I went everywhere there was a job announcement, from Santa Rosa to San Diego, and even Tuscon, Arizona. I passed most of the tests and even had interviews, but I didn't get hired by anyone except Los Angeles and Monterey Park.

When you want to be a Firefighter, you practice doing mock interviews with common questions given during interviews. Most questions are designed to test your honesty, integrity, and decision making skills. One common question has to do with witnessing a Firefighter possibly stealing something of value from a home that was on fire. You are supposed to answer that in two ways. First, you tell the interviewer that the Firefighter may not have the intent to steal these valuable items, but to collect them and to give them to the owners when he got outside. Second, you are to make sure that you report this incident to superiors to let them be aware of the situation, and that if there was any crime involved, you would not condone it.

I was asked this question with the City of San Diego, and I answered this question wrong and knew it. I tried to justify the answer instead of just saying I made a mistake, and I kept digging myself into a deeper and deeper hole. And I knew it. I was even given a chance to possibly fix this when they asked me if there was anything else I'd like to say. I didn't say anything. This totally blew my chance of being hired as a Firefighter for the City of San Diego.

So why did I blow it? I knew how to answer that question, yet, I didn't. I can only say that maybe it wasn't my destiny to work for the City of San Diego. When I got interviewed for the City of Los Angeles, I passed with flying colors. Yet there was a hiring freeze. I eventually did get hired by Los Angeles, and also got a call from Monterey Park.

So I can conclude that not only was I to become a Firefighter, but a Firefighter for the City of Los Angeles, not anywhere else. And it did feel "right." From training through probation, I did well, and was well liked. I was never given a bad evaluation.

Same with me becoming Paramedic trained. I wasn't taken in the first year I volunteered, but they did take me the next year when they had a new "On Duty" school schedule. I believe this schedule helped me pass Paramedic school, as the other way of "leaving" the Fire Dept for a short time and taking classes 5 days a week would have been a burden on my home life, and I would not have had time to study much.

Back then, the LAFD had a shortage of Paramedics which is why I volunteered to become one, and they were being overworked. When I became a Paramedic I was working on one of the busiest assignments in the City. Eventually I became weary of working as a Paramedic. I transferred to a "slower" spot, but it was still busy enough to keep wearing me down.

I decided I needed a break, and work at a "desk job" with regular 9-5 hours within the LAFD. So I looked for an administrative position at our training center. I found one, but it required certain certifications. I had to take and pass a 40 hour class. I did, paid for it on my own, and attended on my own time. Then I was asked to take one more class so that I could be certified in another section of the same unit. This time, the Fire Dept paid for the class, but I went on my own time.

When I was done, I was going to get transferred within a couple of weeks. Then another Firefighter got injured, and was placed in the position that I wanted. That's what we do with injured personnel, give them "desk jobs" until they heal. Then the budget cuts hit, and they streamlined that unit and when the injured Firefighter got better, they cut his position, and there were no more openings for me.

I did find another open position in another training unit, and I thought I was a shoe-in, as I knew both supervisors in charge of the unit. I ended up number 3 out of 3 with only 1 open position. It all worked out though, as budget cuts also cut the positions in that unit. I would have had to look for another position.

It wasn't meant to be, I was meant to stay out in the field as a Paramedic Firefighter. I even tried to transfer out of the Station I am currently at, to a "slower" Station. But that too did not happen. This is really not common, you can usually find administrative positions, or get another spot at another station. Is it Divine intervention or bad luck? I know what it is. The troubling part is, that I don't know why. Or maybe I do, and that's what troubles me.

Uncharted Territories

Changes are coming to the Los Angeles Fire Department in July 2011. Budget cuts have forced the Fire Chief to shut down several Fire Companies and this has caused great concern amongst Firefighters. There will be less Firefighters on duty everyday, meaning there will be less coverage for all types of emergencies.

There will be domino effects when one Company is helping someone in their district, and another emergency will have to be covered by another Company from another district farther away, thus creating gaps in coverage. If you could schedule emergencies, this would not happen, but we all know that anything happens at anytime.

Besides the inherent dangers to the public, there will also be dangers to Firefighters. When I taught fire safety to Elementary school children, one line we used was, "Big fires start small." When a fire starts, the more units you send to fight it and prevent it from getting bigger, the faster it is put out. With less companies, that means the potential for more danger is there.

Personally, it also means changes to life at affected Fire Stations. I myself, am working at the Fire Station that serves the area where I grew up. Yes, I work and serve in my hometown neighborhood. I thought it would be the last place that I would work, and that I would retire from here. But I don't like the changes that are coming, so I put in transfers to other Stations. Others felt the same and have already left. This is happening throughout the whole LAFD.

For the past few years, I thought my future was planned out. Now this, along with other recent disappointments, have caused me to question what the future has in store for me. Things that I know, keep me sane. Things that I'm unsure of, makes me think too much. Thinking too much makes you second guess yourself.

I guess I'm not patient enough. Getting older may be making me desperate, as if I am running out of time. I should have more faith in what fate has in store for me, as it really hasn't let me down so far. Still, this not knowing is really getting to me. Transfers come out Wednesday......