Thursday, November 26, 2009

People Make The World Go Round

Happy Thanksgiving, 2009.

I can be Thankful for many things. My job, which I sometimes hate. That I have a nice house. That I have a decent car. That I am in good health.

But none of those things really matter. What really matters is your Family and Friends. People, actually. (Unless they're strangers and they try to touch you. ;p)

Think about it. Let's say you had terrible Health, but still had great people in your life. Wouldn't it be more bearable than if you were all alone?

People. They make you laugh, they make you cry. They make you happy, they make you sad. They help you, they hurt you. They shower you with love, they ignore you. They keep you company, you can't find them when you need some cash.

So to everyone I know, whether you're close family and great friends, to people who friended me on the internet I've never met in real life and those that may not like me anymore and de-friended me, I'm Thankful that I ever got to know you, even a little bit.

And if you ever thought to yourself, "I'd give a right eye to him." Don't worry, I'm in good health. But who knows, maybe one day I'll need an organ, so keep yours in good shape for me. Wait a minute! Not THAT organ! Gee whiz, I'm trying to be thankful here!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Warning - Depressing Post

The Fire Station I work at is located on Sunset Blvd, a major Street in Los Angeles. It is also where there is a slight curve, in the otherwise straight portion of the Road. Right in front of the Station is a Street Lamp and a Fire Hydrant. A least one driver per year has hit the Hydrant because they were driving too fast, driving under the influence or both.

We were all sound asleep at 2:10 am, when we were awakened by the violent sound of a car crashing. Upon opening the doors to the Fire Station, I saw a geyser where the Hydrant used to be. The Street lamp was gone, laying on the sidewalk across the street. Debris was scattered 100 feet away. Then I saw the car, sitting upright on the sidewalk, next to the building across from us. It looked odd, as if it was a convertible without a windshield. The roof was crushed down to the level of the hood and trunk of the car. The car must have flipped over at least one time.

I immediately ran over to the car and saw one person in the passenger's seat and one in the driver's seat, both unconscious. The passenger was more accessible than the driver, who was hidden under the roof. They appeared to be dressed as if they were at a Club, probably having fun, dancing and/or drinking. By law, all businesses in California stop selling Alcoholic beverages at 2 am.

We pulled out the Ambulance and the Fire Truck, and started working on freeing the victims. We used the "Jaws" to pry open the doors and the "Cutters" to cut the roof off the vehicle. After removing the doors on the passenger side, I was able to get the passenger out and onto a backboard. We got her out just as the second Ambulance arrived to take her to the hospital. She woke up, complained about being hurt, and not fully aware of what had happened.

Her friend was still trapped in the car, inaccessible because of the crushed roof. We cut the roof off within 10 minutes, and now had full access to the interior of the car. There in the front seat of the car, was a young, pretty girl, her eyes still open, staring blankly up into the now visible sky.

As I assessed her condition, I knew almost instantly that there was nothing we could do for her. I had to make the difficult and painful decision to declare her dead. Then I had to fill out a written report. As I searched for her identification, I came across a Christmas card. The card's message was "May All of Your Dreams Come True This Christmas."

Sometimes, I really, really, really hate my job.

Please be safe this Holiday season.

Monday, November 16, 2009

The Seven Dwarfs

I saw the DVD for Snow White being sold with dolls of the Seven Dwarfs, packaged in a round plastic "suitcase." As I was looking at the names of the dolls, I realized that I have all seven traits of the Dwarfs.

1. Doc. I'm a Paramedic, close enough!
2. Grumpy. Again, I'm a Paramedic... don't ask!
3. Sleepy. Once again, a Paramedic....
4. Bashful. Blushes.
5. Happy. People say I'm always smiling. I think it's the medication.
6. Dopey. Self-explanatory.
7. Sneezy. I'm prone to sinus trouble.

I'm also the little known eighth Dwarf, Sleazy. They don't talk about him too much.......

Friday, November 6, 2009

Being Single on Facebook

For those of you who are married, you may have forgotten what it's like to be single. Well, think of yourselves as Lucky. You have no idea what you're up against now. Oh the pressures of being single....

When you sign up for Facebook, you give them some personal information about yourself. Through that information, they generate Advertisements that might interest you. This way, Facebook can remain free to use, otherwise, you'd have to pay a fee. Being a Single man, I get a bombarded by Singles Ads. Some of them are humorous, using the same picture with different Names, or Headlines.

See? Mary and Jennifer are the same person.
Unless they are twins.

Here's the same girl and same picture, used by
two different Websites.

These are for "Older" women. The second one doesn't really look "Older." The last one is the same picture for a girl looking for Older men

These women are "Mature," not "Older." Supposedly, they are ready for Long-term relationships, though the first one looks like
she just wants a booty call.

Here's some "Young" girls allegedly looking for Older men. The last girl doesn't look that young. I didn't capture the picture of the one girl who looked like she could be 14. I wonder how many
Old guys fall for this? Huh? Oh, no! Not me..... *ahem*

Interested in dating a Model? They're not interested in dating YOU! hahahaha Oh-oh, the joke's on me..... : (

Interested in Russian Brides? I bet they really look like Gorbachev......

Ads for other races, even girls that are into "Inter-racial"
dating. Why is there a separate category? And why "California" girls? I don't get that description. Does "California" mean "Asian?"

Ah, finally! Nice Christian girls! Good girls you can take home to Mother. Wait a minute! A couple of them look like "Bad" girls... HMMMMM

Now here's one with a spelling error. "Take a PEAK?"
Which one? The left peak or the right peak? :x

That brings me to this. Can you guess the two things that most
Singles Ads have in common? Yes, TWO things. Come on, you're not trying...... YES! bOObs! But not just bOObs. BIG bOObs! Some look Photoshopped to appear larger, and out of proportion. Who do they think they're kidding? Single, Desperate Old men aren't that gullible. *COUGH*

These are just a mish-mash of ??? The "Single Mom" looks like she could be the daughter. I don't know what's up with the girl and the "Sucker." What? "Want a girlfriend?" You kind of look like one of those latex dolls... No! I don't want that! "Does Size Matter?" Er........ I hope not... ahem.... cough.....

I changed my Profile to "Interested in Men" and got this......

You can run, but you can't hide.