Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Watchin' Porn

We have been training Probationary Firefighters, "Boots," every year for as long as I can remember. Normally, there would only be one "Boot" per shift, and you'd get a one year break after one year of training these Rookies. But because of attrition, we have had 2 per shift, every year, for some time now. It has become a chore, teaching the same thing over and over, sometimes getting someone that "gets it," sometimes getting someone who you wonder, "How the hell did he get through the Drill Tower?"

Because of the amount of new trainees we have, I have been exposed to a lot of different people from different backgrounds. One of our latest was born and raised in Puerto Rico. He came here doing exhibitions on Roller Blades, eventually got married and somehow found a career in the Fire Service. Just as GWB has been fodder for Comedians, Mr Puerto Rico has given us much to remember.

Every Probationary Firefighter spends 4 months at 3 different Fire Stations during his 1 year Probationary period. At the end of each assignment, on your last shift, it is customary for all "Boots" to give a speech and Thank everyone. Mr PR Thanked everyone individually, even someone who he had never worked with before by saying, "I want to Thank FF 'Smith' for coming to work today....."

I didn't mention this before, but Mr PR has an accent. I said he was born in Puerto Rico, and though some do speak English there, he told us he learned English while here in the USA. So when it came to Thanking me, he said, "I want to thank Ninja for teaching me Watchin' Porn." A puzzled look came across everyone in the room. I was dumbfounded, and thought, "WTF!" Then came the questions, this one from the Captains, "Wait a minute, what did you just say?" I could see it now, fired for teaching the Rookie how to watch Porn at the Fire Station. There goes my stellar (HA!) career.

Captain: "Did you say "Watchin' Porn? Ninja taught you to watch Porn?"

Mr PR: "No, I said, Watchin' Porn."

Captain: "What do you mean?"

Mr PR" "You know, Watchin' Porn."

After hearing him say this one more time, we said, "OH! What's important."

Yes, that's it. I helped teach him what's important. Priorities. You have a hundred things to do, do what's important first, the rest can wait. That's what we deal with. Life or Death. The little things don't matter, it's what will kill you that does, or what will keep you alive. Same thing.

Whew! My career is saved. Time to watch Porn.............

5 comments:

PuPCakes said...

what he failed to tell your boss, it that watchin' porn IS what's important.

what's important, BTW?

Ninja said...

What's important is that you read and comment on all of my posts.

:: jozjozjoz :: said...

For the record, I read all your posts, but don't always comment on them! :P

Ninja said...

*snif* I have 2 readers.......

Greg said...

http://www.explosm.net/comics/1550/