Monday, August 4, 2008

My Internet Claim to Fame

I never got into MySpace, or anything prior to that. AOL, AIM, and Chat Rooms were all foreign to me. All I ever used the Internet for was to E-Mail friends, Shop for things, Traveling, and to find information on something.

Then one fateful day in May of 2006, I was researching places to eat in San Francisco. I was going up for a weekend and heard about a place that served Waffles any way you wanted them. One of my friend's ex-girlfriend, who lived there, took him to this place. It was near SF Chinatown. I never found the restaurant, but I found

If you don't know, is where "Real People" write "Real Reviews" of any businesses. Most of them are for restaurants. This is where sites like Chowhound and Eater make their mistakes. They are always putting Yelp down because they just don't get it. They complain that the reviewers are terrible writers, or that the reviews are not thorough enough.

Basically Yelp is a site where word-of-mouth reigns. You know how you found that small hole in the wall that serves the best whatever-it-is that they serve? A friend told you about the place. Or that great mechanic that fixes your junker? A friend told you about them. You didn't find it in a Zagat survey, or on Chowhound. A friend told you. That's what Yelp is about. People going to their favorite places, and writing about them.

Well, though I wasn't the first one to register in Los Angeles on, I was popular enough to be voted King of their Prom. Yelp also sponsors themed events, like the Prom, where certain users deemed "Elite" are invited to attend. Although I think the voting was rigged, because there were a lot of hanging chads that were overlooked.

Anyway, here's my story, you want to hear it? Here it goes........

Come and listen to a story 'bout a man crowned King
A poor writer who could barely spell anything
Then one day he was looking for some food,
And up from a search came some Googling good
Yelp that is, Real People, Real Reviews.

Well first thing you know I'm going to the Prom
Jenny said, "Hey, take me, not your Mom!"
She said Hollywood is where we ought to be
So we got up on my Harley, and we rode up to the Key
Club that is, Yelping Stars, drinking fools

Well then it was the time for me to say goodbye
I had it up to here, and got spit right in my eye
I wasn't invited back and got kicked right out the door
So I registered on Facebook and I asked for a little more
Friends that is, Real Friends.

Y'all come back now, y'hear?

Ahhh, 2 years on a dating site, and I have nothing to show for it. Ain't life grand?


jjomomma said...

hahaha, great review of Yelp!

You could have dated Skraggle, you're almost as manly as me, fighin' fires and all, but I beat you to him...

ninja said...

And how do you know we didn't? Maybe you got seconds.

Linden said...

Haha, nice version of the theme song. Did you see mine for AIM Clinic?

"Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed,
Fucked a dirty ho without a rubber on his head,
Then one day he was pissing razor blades,
Thought he had syphilis or maybe even AIDS."

And so it continues for two more verses.

ninja said...

Linden, you aren't trying to get me to log on to Yelp are you?